![]() And if people get mad, maybe because it’s their house or something, you can just shake your head and go, What happened? Best Jack Handey Deep Thoughtsġ6. Sometimes I just feel like curling up on the floor in front of the fireplace, and just rolling around the room, like a tumbleweed, and not even caring if I knock things over, or break them. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.ġ5. He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you’re having a good idea but it’s just eggs hatching.ġ4. If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.ġ3. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.ġ2. I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books. It wasn’t until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.ġ0. After school we’d all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.ĩ. That way, if anybody says, ‘Hey, can you give me a hand?,’ you can say, ‘Sorry, got these sacks.’Ĩ. To me, it’s always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.ħ. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water skis! How do they do that? Jack Handey Funny QuotesĦ. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.ĥ. Playing dead not only comes in handy when face to face with a bear, but also at important business meetings.Ĥ. Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.Ģ. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. We’ve compiled a list of Jack Handey Quotes that will lift your spirits and mental state.ġ. ![]() However, what they got was a hysterical and slapstick Deep Thought by Jack Handey. Endorphins are also known to boost mood and reduce stress.ĭo you remember the little segment that used to air on Saturday Night Live in between comedy sketches from 1991 to 1998? The Deep Thoughts segment would come on with zen-type music, and viewers were expecting an inspirational quote. One study found that laughing for just two minutes can increase levels of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, in the blood. There’s also scientific evidence that laughter can improve our mood and mental state. Laughter is one of the most contagious emotions, so if you’re feeling down, try hanging out with friends who will make you laugh. It can help take our minds off things, relax us so we sleep better, and even have health benefits. In some cases, laughter is the best medicine. He currently lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with his wife and two children. Handey is the author of several books, including Deep Thoughts and Other Ridiculous Thoughts, The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, and How to Get Into the Twenties. He eventually landed a job as a staff writer for Saturday Night Live. After graduation, he moved to New York City to pursue a career in writing. He attended the University of Texas at Austin, where he studied philosophy. Jack Handey was born in San Antonio, Texas, in 1949. Jack Handey quotes is one of the most searched term when it comes to quotes and saying. ![]() He is best known for his Deep Thoughts, a series of humorous and sometimes philosophical one-line thoughts that were regularly featured on Saturday Night Live. He is a writer and comedian who worked as a Saturday Night Live staff writer for several years. Contrary to popular belief, Jack Handey is a real person.
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